Back to school and bittersweet.
Nearly 19 years ago, I was a fragile teenager faced with some very tough and grown-up decisions. I was pregnant and confused and had very little support. To many, this was no shocking news, and the negativity associated with teenage pregnancy and me were the expectations of many.
Alone, scared and with very little means, I made the decision to have my baby; no one could have prepared me more for the journey than my son himself. He taught me love, patience and strength. How not to give up, and even how to say I’m sorry when I’m wrong.
Most of our earlier years together were merely trial and error. We struggled daily and I was constantly worried about food and shelter. However, through the grace of God, many people were placed in our lives and from these special relationships came a whirlwind of opportunities.
Fortunately, I took advantage of those opportunities and have broken a cycle that has haunted so many before us.
This week, I am driving to North Carolina Central University, where my son will begin his freshman year.
Not only is this a huge feat for our family (both close and extended), but this marks a milestone in both of our lives: my son’s transition from adolescents to adulthood, as well as my pre-mature transition as a 34-year-old, divorced mom to empty-nester.
My thoughts exactly: I’m way too young to be an empty-nester!
Although the past several weeks have been stressful (good stress, if there is such a thing) with all the planning, purging and packing for college, it’s actually times like this when the impact of being a single parent are most strongly felt.
However, I am grateful to be “here” in spite of the circumstance.
To my son, I gave every fiber of me and now to the world I give my “love deposit”: a handsome, intelligent, respectful, well-mannered, self-sufficient, self-assured young man. And together we have beaten the odds.
It’s amazing how things come full circle. Years ago, I found it hard to see the end of the week. Today, I can see his future.
I love you son!
Latricia Allen is The Women’s Foundation’s Grants Manager.
August 14th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Greetings Ms. Allen!
Congratulations on your survival, growth, motherhood, and womanhood! The turmoil that you’ve encountered along the way and the tasks before you echoe such familiar songs of my past! I am Karen, 39 yo native Washingtonian, student and social service worker and mom of two beautiful, bright and intelligently electrifying daughters, ages 20 and 15!
I am blessed that as a mom at 20, I too was provided with some amazingly staunch family and community supporters that created an atmosphere for me where I can say I was blessedly, never a single parent!
As I read of your vesting your son into the world… I am attempting to withhold the tears as I think of how my eldest sister and I did the same with my oldest daughter. We flew her down to Texas Southern imagining that with her history, knowledge, exposure and experience; she was ready to not only take on the world, but take her rightful place as change agent for the world!
Needless to say, it’s almost two years later and I’m praying for her to complete one successful semester at any college! Mysteriously so, my woman child has chosen to create a future slightly different than I ever would have believed possible for her, based upon her own drive and standards.
While it is often typical for young persons her age to divert, it is still painful and like those nights when survival was questionable; I submit her to the most High and rely always on Faith to keep her safe, renew her thirst for life and lead her to her calling!
I thank you for your poignant yet simplistic support of determination, hope and committment to your son. May he experience many blessings and achievements in his endeavors and may he shower the world with his love of family, life and continuum. Congratulations!!!!!!
Peace and Blessings and thanks for renewing my HOPE!!! I needed this…. Karen J., SE DC!