The first night of the Food Stamp Challenge, I had the particularly odd experience of dreaming about food. I was thinking about it so much, about the taste and how I felt restrained from it.
The first day went fine. I ate good things and wasn’t that hungry, it was just the thought of not having access to any food or drink I wanted. Before I went to bed, I had the quick thought of going to Starbucks the next morning for a Double Chocolate Chip Frappacino, but then I quickly remembered that I couldn’t afford Starbucks. Even the smallest size costs over $3.00!
I also though about and wished for fresh fruit, the smell and taste, the colorful mix of pineapples and strawberries, and how I hadn’t had any. I guess these thoughts were precursors to the dream.
In my dream, I was so hungry that my stomach hurt, and I had the option of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or a pack of Ramen chicken noodles, and I didn’t care to eat either.
The second day was more challenging than the first. I ate my usual breakfast, two Quaker oatmeal packs left over from last week. For lunch, I packed one peanut butter and jelly sandwich because I didn’t want to eat the lunch I knew would be provided at the day’s work retreat. When the catering arrived, I tried to not think about the food, but it was as if my senses were doubly alert. I heard people crunching on chips, getting soda, putting ice in their cup.
I finally got one bag of chips and two cookies, not too healthy. I forgot about the Nature Way granola bar I had packed in my purse, probably because I wasn’t too excited about the taste. (They taste fine, but pale in comparison to a sugar cookie.)
I felt like a failure for breaking down and eating some of the food provided, so for dinner I ate my Ramen noodles and stayed away from the home cooked food. It was filling, but not too healthy, and was a little disappointing as I watched my sister and nephew eating their food heartily.
My friend purchased one Krispy Kreme orginal glaze iced donut for me. At first, I refused, but then I reasoned that one donut is fairly cheap, and I ate it. I’m finding a motif here. I am thinking about food so much, and the taste, that whenever I come in contact with something tasty and unhealthy, I am very quick to eat it. I had a pretty high amount of sugar and salt yesterday that it almost makes me embarrassed to think about. In addition to eating unhealthy free foods without a second thought, I eat them fast, as though someone is going to take it away from me and put yet another restraint on me.
It’s a good thing I have half a bottle of Odwalla “Mo Beta” fruit juice left over, a few sips of it a day will have to suffice as my fresh fruit supplement. I can’t wait to buy and eat real fresh fruit next week. Usually, I go to the nearby Soho or Sizzling Express and get a small take-out of strawberries, oranges, and pineapples, but the total runs between $3.50 and $5.00 so that will have to wait.
Scary to think that this is just one week, when in reality it’s months and months longer for many low-income women on food stamps.
For more insights into Sherell’s Food Stamp Challenge experience, check out her post on D.C. Hunger Solution’s blog.
