Food Stamp Challenge: Mind over matter, or over food, for that matter.
The first night of the Food Stamp Challenge, I had the particularly odd experience of dreaming about food. I was thinking about it so much, about the taste and how I felt restrained from it.
The first day went fine. I ate good things and wasn’t that hungry, it was just the thought of not having access to any food or drink I wanted. Before I went to bed, I had the quick thought of going to Starbucks the next morning for a Double Chocolate Chip Frappacino, but then I quickly remembered that I couldn’t afford Starbucks. Even the smallest size costs over $3.00!
I also though about and wished for fresh fruit, the smell and taste, the colorful mix of pineapples and strawberries, and how I hadn’t had any. I guess these thoughts were precursors to the dream.
In my dream, I was so hungry that my stomach hurt, and I had the option of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or a pack of Ramen chicken noodles, and I didn’t care to eat either.
The second day was more challenging than the first. I ate my usual breakfast, two Quaker oatmeal packs left over from last week. For lunch, I packed one peanut butter and jelly sandwich because I didn’t want to eat the lunch I knew would be provided at the day’s work retreat. When the catering arrived, I tried to not think about the food, but it was as if my senses were doubly alert. I heard people crunching on chips, getting soda, putting ice in their cup.
I finally got one bag of chips and two cookies, not too healthy. I forgot about the Nature Way granola bar I had packed in my purse, probably because I wasn’t too excited about the taste. (They taste fine, but pale in comparison to a sugar cookie.)
I felt like a failure for breaking down and eating some of the food provided, so for dinner I ate my Ramen noodles and stayed away from the home cooked food. It was filling, but not too healthy, and was a little disappointing as I watched my sister and nephew eating their food heartily.
My friend purchased one Krispy Kreme orginal glaze iced donut for me. At first, I refused, but then I reasoned that one donut is fairly cheap, and I ate it. I’m finding a motif here. I am thinking about food so much, and the taste, that whenever I come in contact with something tasty and unhealthy, I am very quick to eat it. I had a pretty high amount of sugar and salt yesterday that it almost makes me embarrassed to think about. In addition to eating unhealthy free foods without a second thought, I eat them fast, as though someone is going to take it away from me and put yet another restraint on me.
It’s a good thing I have half a bottle of Odwalla “Mo Beta” fruit juice left over, a few sips of it a day will have to suffice as my fresh fruit supplement. I can’t wait to buy and eat real fresh fruit next week. Usually, I go to the nearby Soho or Sizzling Express and get a small take-out of strawberries, oranges, and pineapples, but the total runs between $3.50 and $5.00 so that will have to wait.
Scary to think that this is just one week, when in reality it’s months and months longer for many low-income women on food stamps.
For more insights into Sherell’s Food Stamp Challenge experience, check out her post on D.C. Hunger Solution’s blog.
June 6th, 2007 at 11:46 am
Sherell,
I couldn’t help but think while reading your post about many similar experiences and thoughts I had during my Peace Corps service, the first time I found my access to food limited both for financial reasons as well as just in terms of what there was available. It really brought home how much food has to do with quality of life and how lucky I had always been to basically have unlimited options (especially in this country). As PCVs, we were shocked by how quickly we became ravenous for the simplest of things (cheese, butter, vegetables, chocolate come to mind), and when we could get access to them, would feel that we had to consume all we could, because you never knew when or if there would be more.
I remember vividly one guy actually saying once, “I can’t believe this, we just ate an entire stick of butter.” And we had. In five minutes.
And like you, it always raised the thought, but for me, this is temporary, something I can “get out of” at any point, whereas for many in our region, country and the world, that’s not such an easy (or possible) option.
I sometimes fast during Ramadan in solidarity with friends, and also just to remind myself, periodically, about how grateful I am to have access to basic needs that many don’t, and how it enables so much of what I cherish about life (work, running, etc.). In writing about this last year, I remember finding out that Abe Lincoln once started a National Day of Fasting in the U.S. to remind Americans about our sense of abundance, and to remember to not take it for granted.
I still think this would be a great idea for us–much like what you’re doing–to remind ourselves about the realities facing so many others, and not just from an intellectual standpoint, but from an experiential one–which really makes all the difference. Makes realities like these increasingly harder to ignore–from a personal and political (I hope) standpoint.