In today’s world, we hear of tragedies on a regular basis. From Hurricane Katrina to the "War on Terror," pictures of devastation and chaos constantly bombard us to the point of numbness. I personally always struggle with wanting to be informed about the world around me and taking action on how I can contribute, and also sometimes wanting to be the ostrich with her head in the sand.
However, I refuse to put my head in the sand and ignore the tragedy of a young Maryland boy whose life had to end merely because he was poor! I refuse to stay quiet about the fact that we live in the most prosperous nation in the world, spending billions of dollars for weapons and war, but can’t help a little boy who needed basic medical attention.
For those who have not read the story, a young 12-year old boy lost his life because an infection from a rotten tooth spread to his brain. After two surgeries, and weeks in the hospital, young Deamonte Driver lost his fight for life. Furthermore, his family may be left with thousands of dollars in medical bills!
I knew the mother of that little boy.
Alyce Driver was in a vocational training program that I taught. The goal of the program was to target economically disadvantaged single, head of household women and train them to enter non-traditional career paths, with the hopes that they will have higher wages. The goal was to also offer supportive services to assist these women, many of whom were facing severe personal circumstances.
Alyce, along with many other women, came to this program as a last hope. Hope that they will learn something new, hope that they will find support and assistance when they couldn’t get it anywhere else, hope for another chance at life!
Alyce had that hope that she could do better.
She attended school even though she was going through extreme domestic circumstances. She struggled to come to school everyday although she didn’t have money for Metro and was temporarily homeless.
Alyce and her son didn’t deserve this to happen to them. No one deserves something like that to happen to them.
This is a woman who sought help. She was someone who strived for more for herself and her family.
I worked very hard during my tenure working in social services in the Washington metropolitan area to find resources for these women. For me, who had access to telephones, fax machines, e-mail and Internet, it was still difficult to reach these organizations. After they were reached, it was even harder to get clear answers or adequate follow through.
I feel as if I failed Ms. Driver.
But in reality, we all failed Ms. Driver.
The larger problem here isn’t just about access to dental care. This is a problem that so often is overlooked or ignored by this country as a whole. This is an issue of those that have and those who have nothing. This is about poverty!
People can say, “Why didn’t this mother take her sons to the dentist earlier?” “Why didn’t they practice healthy dental hygiene?” “Why didn’t that mother feed her boys a proper diet so their teeth would be strong and immune systems healthy?
Many people want to point the blame at the mother or family, but we really need to be pointing the blame at ourselves. Those who have the privilege of having a home to go to every night, have a steady job which offers comprehensive healthcare, and have the means to seek preventive care and live healthy lives often do not understand how hard it is for those less fortunate. But instead of trying to learn and help, they ignore it or say things like, “Aren’t our taxes paying enough?” or “These people are lazy and they deserve what they get!
What has ever happened to empathy? What happened to us being our Brother’s, or in this case, Sister’s Keeper?
Imagine being in an abusive relationship, with no friends or family to support you. Imagine having no car to take you to your job or simply the grocery store? Imagine having children who depend on you and being powerless to give to them. Imagine being homeless and then separated from your children. Imagine going to social service organization after social service organization for help and constantly being turned away.
The privileged few do not or can not imagine such an existence, but for thousands of women in the Washington metropolitan area, that is their daily existence! And for many more women that are living paycheck to paycheck, imagining that existence isn’t very hard!
What makes situations even worse is when you have social service organizations claiming that they do not have funds or resources to wholly support those who they are supposed to help, but looking at their office parking lots you will see top of the line cars and catered events!
Women are the foundations of all societies! We not only give birth to the future, but we are in charge of raising, nurturing, and protecting our future.
How can we look towards a bright future when we can not support the women and children of today?
They say the hardest loss or pain a person can ever face is the loss of a child.
Alyce Driver just didn’t lose a child, we all did!
We all should be in pain for this injustice. From this pain and loss, I hope something positive can emerge — that nothing like this ever happens again!
Robyn Fleming is a former staff member of Goodwill of Greater Washington, a Grantee Partner of The Women’s Foundation.
